Accountability
We often find ourselves making the wrong decisions in life resulting in unstable situations. Sometimes we blame the world for our actions and don’t make ourselves accountable for what we have done. Playing the blame game does not point the finger at everyone else. It clearly points the finger at you. Why don’t we make people more accountable for their actions? If we are truly moral people, why don’t we say what is right from the jump? Have we become so afraid of our own truths that we are quick to thrash someone else for their shortcomings and mistakes? Society has taught us that when we accept our responsibilities we will enable ourselves to press on further in life. I say when we accept our own criticism, we will advance more in our careers and social life. There is nothing wrong with simply saying, “I was wrong and turning over a new path today”. Recognizing your pain helps you to close old doors and open up new ones; moreover, helps us to regain our strength to carry on. No one has ever walked this earth without sin that resulted from inhabitable mistakes. So how do we start to make people more accountable for their actions? We should first start with out of wedlock pregnancies. Statistics below show us that single parent homes are growing faster and faster each day:
1 in 2 will live in a single parent family at some point in childhood
1 in 3 is born to unmarried parents
1 in 4 lives with only one parent
1 in 8 is born to a teenage mother
1 in 25 lives with neither parent
(The State of America’s Children, 1998 Yearbook, Children’s Defense Fund)
The facts listed above implies that we are not making parents accountable for their actions; consequently, we are enabling the gist of single parenting versus parenting all together. Studies have shown that most men that don’t have visitation for their kids pay 44.5% of child support owed, and fathers that have visitation pay 79.1% of child support owed (The State of America’s Children, 1998 Yearbook, Children’s Defense Fund). Fathers with joing custody pay 90.2% of support owed (The State of America’s Children, 1998 Yearbook, Children’s Defense Fund). Have we become a breeding network for children or just totally irresponsible all together? While we examine those life-threatening statistics, we should also examine the numbers for step-parenting. Step-parents are a part of our disturbing single-parent homes that have sparked a more in depth look how our children are being raised. More than a quarter of children live in a step-parent home that has only one biological parent (U.S. Census Bureau). So we make the decision to create a child with someone and then leave the child to be raised in a step-parent home. Where is the accountability here? We have discovered over the past 20 years that women have taken on the roles of both mother and father and have accepted their independence to spill over in relationships and marriage leaving the male figures only to cohabitate. Are we not taking the roles of mother and father more seriously, or do we just enjoy the series of our lives of just “playing house”? When I was riding in the West End of Louisville the other day, I realized that Shawnee High School has a Neighborhood Place attached to the school that assists parents with aid to help care for their families. Is this not implying to our children that once you get to high school having a baby out of wedlock is ok? Or are we saying if you have a baby out of wedlock and can’t take care of yourself, we are here to help? I would much rather see that portion of the school redesigned to further assist students with learning more math and science that will help them in their educational career. It’s not a promising sight to see that if I make a bad choice while in high school and get pregnant, all I have to do is go next door and get help. What are we teaching our kids? I guess the question is what are we learning as parents that we are not teaching our kids to be more accountable with their lives as we have not been with our own. Children are a parent’s responsibility. We have based our actions on “it takes a village to raise a child”. While that statement may be true, who are we being truthful to? I see so many of my friends praising their teens for having babies to fill a void in their lives that I don’t see the punishment for irresponsibility ever inflicted. Before there was government assistance, parents were made to work and take care of their children without making a safety net for children to get a hall pass and spread everything wide open. I guess I can’t too much blame the children when the parents of today are merely just out of daycare themselves. What future do we look forward too with this disturbing generational gap that is expanding? Where are my aspiring doctors and lawyers? Have we promoting baby making to be the newest title in the hood or do we just look forward with blinders on? I’ve had bad stares for purchasing protection for my son who is 17. I am not promoting being a teen, single parent by any aspect at all; however, I am preparing my son for being sexually responsible in both preventing STD’s or teen pregnancy. We live in a day and age where our children are smarter in books, yet dumber in life because we choose to turn the other way and look at another back door instead of our own. Accountability falls deep into our ignored visibility and we fall victim to the punch in the end. We have to be more accountable in our decision making processes. In order for us to move forward, we have to start asking ourselves questions like what are we looking for in our own lives so that we can find a more stable legacy to pass on to our children. Living out our feelings does not constitute responsibility. It enforces more chaos in lives when we shift and mold with our ignorance and freeze to find truth. Don’t we owe it to ourselves and our children to work smarter and think smarter? Don’t we owe it to society to be an example of being more economically and mentally focused? Sit back and ask yourself, “Am I being accountable for my actions”? Until next time, love yourself and you will find love all around you-Val Watts
