Ed (Comedy rated PG)
“Don’t laugh!” said the patient, Ed. “Of course I won’t laugh,” the doctor said. “I’m a professional. In over twenty years I’ve never laughed at a patient.” “Okay then,” Ed said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest ‘hoo-ha’ the doctor had ever seen. It could not have been bigger than the size [...]
THE SKUNK
A man and his wife are returning from holiday, while on holiday they decided to buy themselves some pets, he bought a snake while the woman got a skunk. As they are passing through airport control they notice a sign which says “NO ANIMALS WILL BE ALLOWED THROUGH QUARANTINE” Slightly distressed the woman turns to [...]
SMALL ORGAN! (RATED R)
This couple had been dating for about six months, but the guy had been afraid to make any sexual advances because of his tiny organ. Finally one night, he gets up his courage, and takes her to a secluded spot in his car. While they are kissing, he opens his zipper and guides her hand [...]
WHERE’S MY MONEY??????
A koala walks into a bar one night, slams his paw down on the table, and orders a drink. When he’s done, slam goes his paw again for more. This goes on for about half an hour, and just when he was going to do it again, the barkeep told him if he was looking [...]
Santa Will Be De-Layed (mature content)
It s Christmas Eve and Santa arrives at this beautiful young woman s apartment. She takes one look at Santa and decides that she needs to make love to Santa. She say s “Oh Santa, won’t you stay the night? Santa replies, “HO, HO, HO, Gotta go! Gotta Go! Gotta deliver those toys, you know. [...]
Twas the Night Before Christmas – Adult Style
WARNING: This is NOT a joke for the kids and contains language and “adult humor”. If you’re easily offended, please read one of our OTHER jokes. —————————— ‘Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat The doors were all bolted, and the [...]
10th Reindeer
How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer “Olive” ? Yeah, you know, “Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names”
Christmas joke
Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present something “Christmassy”. The first man searches his pocket, and finds some Mistletoe, so he is allowed in. The second man presents a cracker, so he is also allowed in. [...]
DID YOU KNOW (comedy rated PG)
It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach. One human hair can support 6 lb. The average man’s “manhood” is three times the length of his thumb. Human thighbones are stronger than concrete. A woman’s heart beats faster than a man’s. There are about one trillion bacteria on each [...]